In Remembrance of Jason Gideon
by sophk
Summary: The music played as they walked into the Chapel. . . This is the story of the aftermath of the death of Jason Gideon and the team's memories, good and bad. As the BAU goes through the process of a Grief Assessment.
1. Chapter 1

**In Remembrance**

_"Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom,_

_not a guide by which to live."_

_-Robert Kennedy-_

* * *

Aaron glanced over at the clock, 5:10 A.M; he closed his eyes and thought about the events of the last week. Just five days ago, Jason Gideon had been killed. They had just returned last night from closing the case and now Jason could rest in peace. Tears filled his eyes thinking of his old friend.

"Honey, are you all right?" Sam asked moving closer and resting her head on his chest.

Aaron kissed her on the head and put his arm around her, "Yeah baby, go back to sleep." He kissed her again. "I love you." He whispered. She kissed his chest.

"Want to talk?" She asked. "I'm always here for you, no matter how damn early it is. We haven't really talked since it happened."

He slid another pillow under his head. "I can't believe it. I haven't seen him in years. Then to see him like that; it just seems surreal. When I started working with the BAU he was in-charge, an amazing profiler. Jason always pushed himself and the team; he would immerse himself in all the little details of a case. He kept framed pictures of the people he saved in his office; and also, he kept a death book of the one's he couldn't save." He stated.

"Did he have any family?" She asked.

"A son, Stephen. They lost touch for a while, but had reunited in the last few years. I think Jason was so focus on saving the world; he didn't have time for a family. He couldn't relate to my family issues or to anyone's. When we would be called in on a case he expected us to be there, no excuses. He would always speak his mind, no matter what the case. But, there was another side to him, he was very gentle and compassionate." Aaron laughed slightly. "He loved Chinese food. No matter what city we were in; it could be in the middle of nowhere, he always managed find a Chinese restaurant." Aaron smiled and paused.

"There was this one time, I remember. " Aaron laughed thinking of that day. "Jason had an old movie projector on his desk and was watching a Charlie Chaplin film; I walked in after hearing the noise of the projector. He told me that his great-grandfather had been an accountant at one of the first movie studios in Chicago. When the studio closed, they let his grandfather have a couple of extra prints. That was the family story, anyhow." Aaron snickered. "He was teaching a class later in the day and was using it to show the cadets different strategies for dealing with the stress of the job. That afternoon we got called out to a case in Kansas City. It was very horrible case. A man had killed and tortured more than sixty homeless people over the course of a year. Anyway, the day we returned we set the movie projector up in the conference room, and the entire team sat around the table laughing at the genius of Charlie Chaplin and eating popcorn." He laughed out loud.

"Sounds like a intelligent and fascinating man. How's the team holding up, especially Dave and Spencer?" She questioned.

"I don't think any of us have had time to process it yet. Speaking of that Dr. McAdams, would you be interested in doing the grief assessment for the team? I'm sure the Director will request one to be done. And I think they would rather talk to you instead of Cruz." He inquired. "And you just did mine." He kissed her on the head.

She smiled, "Of course, I will do it. We can pick a date and I will use the conference room at your office. Unless, of course you think this is better. I could conduct the assessments here in bed naked? Different approach." Sam teased as she threw her leg over his naked body.

Aaron smiled, "The conference room at the office is fine." He squeezed her a little tighter.

"Yes, sir." Sam pulled the extra pillow out from under his head. "We have a long day ahead of us. Let's get some rest." She laid her head on the pillow next to him, kissed him and stroked his hair. "I love you." She whispered.

"And I love you. I'm so glad you are here with me." He murmured.

Aaron had met Dr. Samantha McAdams, a psychologist, when she was hired to do the evaluation of the BAU. It wasn't love at first sight, but he won her over with friendship.

They had been in a relationship for the last six months. He and Jack had moved in with her couple of months ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

The music played as they walked into the chapel and took a seat in the second pew next to Dave and the rest of the team. Stephen, Jason's son, stepped over and hugged Aaron and thanked him for coming. This was the family service for Jason, a public memorial service planned by the FBI would be held in a couple of weeks. Dave had been asked by Stephen to deliver the eulogy. Since the team had been working on the case since Jason's death, he hadn't had time to write one. Early this morning he jotted down some notes. Dave worried that he would not properly honor his friend's memory. He held Sam's hand to help calm him.

"You will do fine, just speak from your heart." Sam advised. Dave nodded in appreciation for the encouragement.

During the service, Stephen talked about how in the last few years he and his Dad had become closer. He shared a story about them attending a Chicago White Sox's game. He talked about how he would always cherish those memories and how much he loved and admired his Dad.

As Dave got up to speak, Sam moved closer to Spencer and took his hand. He smiled and wiped his eyes with a tissue. Aaron put his arm around her shoulder.

Dave walked slowly to the podium. "This is a sad occasion, but Jason would want us to look back on his life as a life well lived. He found his passion, as strange as it may have seemed to others at times. We understood each other for that reason." Dave closed his eyes for a moment holding back the tears. He went on to share memories of their friendship. "I will end with a quote by Mason Albert Pike, _What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world, remains and is immortal_." Rossi rested his hand on the casket of his dear friend and declared, "You my friend are _immortal_." He walked back to the pew.

They filed out and travel to the cemetery, Dave, Spencer, Derek, and Aaron served as pallbearers. After a brief prayer service, Stephen walked over to thank everyone. He told Dave how moving the eulogy was and that his Dad would have approved. They embraced.

"Stephen, if you need anything call me. Take care of yourself." Dave kissed him on the cheek and hugged him.

"I will, Dave. Thank you for everything." Stephen replied.

As the team headed back to their cars, "If anyone wants to come over to our place, you are more than welcome." Aaron offered. They all appreciated the invitation but were totally exhausted and needed time to deal with the last few days.

Their time to do that was short; a couple days later the Indianapolis PD requested their assistance with a bombing case.

* * *

**Two** days after they returned from Indianapolis, Sam walked in the office to do the grief assessments. She tapped on Aaron's office door.

"Hi hon," she corrected herself. "Agent Hotchner, may I have a moment of your time?" She smiled.

"After you kiss me, yes." He bantered. He stood up. She walked over and kissed him.

"Are you ready to do the assessments? How do you want to handle this?" He questioned.

"I'm here for the day, let them come and talk to me when they want." She smiled. "I don't want anyone to worry about a time."

"You're the doctor." He said.

She laughed, "I will set up in the conference room, then go down and talk with them." As she walked into the room, Dave poked his head in. "Morning, Dave."

"Are you open for business?" he asked. "I will go first, if that is all right?"

"That's fine. I will grab a cup of coffee and meet you in your office? We can talk in there." Sam suggested.

Dave smiled. "Go get your coffee."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

* * *

**Dave Rossi**

Now, that both have coffee, they began. "Did Aaron talk you in to doing this?" Dave teased.

"He asked me. So, you wanted to be first? How brave of you." she replied.

"Thought I would get it over with. Plus, I have been thinking about a lot of things." He stated then paused. "Did Aaron tell you about finding Jason's killer?"

"Some of the details, but I have read the reports. We try to keep work outside of our relationship." She shared with him.

"Smart couple, I hope you two continue to do that." He smiled. "You know if Jason had a fault, it was he could never let go of anything. A case from 1978 brought this killer back to him. He still carried that missing girl's picture in his wallet. I used to tell him we couldn't save everyone. But, no matter what the reason, if we couldn't solve a case he would get so upset. Always thinking there was more that should have been done." Dave said.

"He didn't have a life outside the BAU. Well, except with

birds, he became obsessed with them. He got to know a Curator at the Smithsonian, who worked with the exhibits. One of the last times I talked to him, he told me about seeing the hand-colored Mockingbird Audubon etching. When he was describing it, he sounded like a kid on Christmas morning. He loved studying birds, he was fascinated by them." Dave remembered. "So, in a way, I guess, it was fitting that a picture of a bird led us to his killer." He proclaimed.

"I thought that was very insightful way to leave a clue." Sam remarked.

"What I haven't told anyone else; and will only share with you is the fact that I provoked the unsub to take a shot at me, so I could kill him. I wasn't planning on doing that, well it had crossed my mind." He shrugged. "But, he was proud of the fact that he killed Jason Gideon. I took the shot. Right or wrong, I did it. Now, all I can think about is Jason telling me I did the wrong thing, taking the law into my own hands. But, I'm not sorry." Dave admitted.

"You have no reason to be sorry, he was a killer; he had a gun. Put in difficult positions we all make decisions that are right for us. Not everyone would agree, but they haven't been in that situation. And that is my opinion as a former CIA agent." Sam responded. "And you and I both understand sometimes the desire for vengeance takes over."

He smiled knowing that she understood why he did it. "Thank you for not judging. Did you know that Jason named his son after me, Stephen." He told her. "Our sons were born just a few months apart." Dave looked down.

"Dave, you were a good friend and he loved you. That is what you need to remember." She assured him.

"And I loved him, he was my brother." Dave smiled.

**Kate Callahan**

"Hey, Sam. Nice to see you." Kate said as she walked into the conference room.

Sam smiled. "You, also. How are you?"

"Great." She answered.

"Well, I'm here to do the grief assessment for the team due to the death of Jason Gideon. Did you know him?" Sam questioned.

"Not really, when I went through the Academy, I took his class. But, he left two weeks into it to rejoin the BAU. He was a legend at the Academy. To this team he was family, especially Spencer. They always refer to him with such reverence." Kate observed. "I wish I would have had the opportunity to work with him."

"Understandable response." Sam assured her.

**Penelope Garcia**

"Sam, it so good to see you. How's Jack and Daisy." She sighed as they hugged.

"Both are fine. You will have to come over and go to the dog park with us some evening. There is another French bulldog there named Latte, so Daisy has a new friend." Sam updated her.

"So, you want me to talk about Gideon?" She asked. "He was a such a nice man."

"Are you coping all right with the loss?" Sam questioned knowing how emotional Penelope can be.

"It's sad, he was such a caring person. Wasn't great with names, I don't even think he knew mine for the first few month I was here. Called me tech-room girl a lot, but that was fine. He was one of these people that his mind was racing all the time. But, I think sometimes I amazed him on how fast I could find information. I always felt he had a very spiritual aura, just the way he would relate with the victim's families.

"There was this one time, that Gideon had hurt his ankle skydiving. It was on his Bucket List. The team got called out on a case and left him with me. He decided to work from my office so he could stay in touch with them. He started spreading out crime scene photos and books all over my area. I couldn't stand the mess. He was so focus on the case; I don't even think he noticed I was upset. It was a horrible couple of days; he was looking for materials, reports, complaining that it was too hot. It was frustrating. And then he would eat his chicken and broccoli at my desk. I was so glad when the team returned and I could get him out of my office." She chuckled. "A couple week of later he sent me flowers; well actually Hotch had sent them and signed Gideon name to the card. But, Gideon had already sent me an MP3 player. That was pretty funny." She laughed. "But, he was a very sweet man."

She smiled, "But, there was this other side to him; he never talked down to anyone and he was always willing to help you understand. When his friend, Sarah, was killed, he had to get to a safe place to work on the case. He called a friend and we went to the Smithsonian to work." Penelope paused.

Sam interjected, "I've read the case file."

"As we were searching for information about Frank, the killer, I thought it was hopeless. We had nothing to go on. But, he said we needed to look at Jane and other victims for information. Then he explained to me that there are three factors that determine behavior: biology, psychology and socialization, or life experiences. After doing a chart of the victims he figured it out. It was amazing to watch him work." She said. "He was a very sweet, honest and supportive person, he will be missed.

**Derek Morgan**

Derek walks into the conference room, "Hi, Sam. Heard you would doing the grief assessment for us." He stated.

Sam laughed, "It was either me or Cruz?"

"You are much better looking." He teased.

"I'll take that as a compliment, I think he's pretty cute." Sam added. "Now, to the reason I'm here. How are you feeling about the death of Gideon?"

"The same way I react to the death of anyone. It's horrible he was a good man and a damn good profiler. When I came in he was like rockstar. Everyone wanted to work with him, and I was lucky to have worked with him. He was amazing to watch, the way his brain would piece together things." Derek reflected. "An amazing man."

"Not that I always agreed with his profiles. " Derek laughed slightly. "And I challenged his decisions, just like I do Hotch, but it never bother him. And he always had his reasons. That happened more than I like to admit. On the last case he worked, we were investigating the killing of young women on a college campus. We put together a good profile. And made an arrest of a campus security guard. This man fit our profile exactly. But, there was no evidence, nothing to connect him to crimes. I had my doubts that the security guard was the killer; but Gideon was sure he was the unsub. While the guy was in custody, another killing happened. We thought it was a copycat; the MO was different. The local wanted to release him, Gideon allow them to do that." Derek paused. "Within hours the copycat, a young disturbed woman killed the security guard and then herself. As we were leaving the next morning I asks Gideon if he knew how it would end, if he let the guy go knowing that he and the copycat would find each other. Gideon replied that profiling isn't an exact science. I could tell that he was unsure about the decision he had made. I had never seen him doubt his decisions before. I think after his friend was killed, he lost confidence and hope."

The thing I will keep in my memory happened on a bombing case in Seattle. I stayed with a woman and held her hand while a bomb was being diffused under her car seat. Gideon and Reid were at a different location, when he heard what I was doing," Derek takes a deep breathe. "Gideon said to the woman they were interviewing a young man that I greatly admire and respect is putting his life on the line. The fact that he would say that about me." He looked to the floor to control his emotions. "Filled me with pride and confidence. I knew I had finally earned Gideon's respect, that statement meant so much to me and still does." He reflected.

**Jennifer Jareau**

"My turn." JJ smiled as she walked in the room.

"Hi, come in." Sam said. Just as JJ was closing the door, Aaron walked in and handed Sam a bottle of water. "Thanks." Sam smiled.

"You two are so cute together." JJ teased.

"Thank you." Sam took a sip of water. "So, we are here to talk about Gideon's death. How are you doing?"

"It was a shock, to me he was always such a powerful man. I was the press liaison at the time he was here and a little intimidated by him. I don't know why, he was always very nice and helpful. I remember when I would travel with them and watch them work on developing profiles. He would ask questions; like what the unsub's signature was telling us about why he did it, to see if anyone had any answers. He was always teaching, always encouraging everyone to improve. Gideon was amazing in many ways, but could also be very rude and very direct. Which would sometimes make my job harder." She laughed. "At the same time, he was also very protective of the all of us. He was the one that decided that Spencer should be introduced as doctor instead of agent. Said it was because he was so young, he would get more respect being a doctor." JJ snickered. "We still do it."

"We were all surprised when he left, but I think he had lost hope in goodness and kindness. This is hard to explain but he had an air of innocence to him. And great wisdom." She reflected. "Being at the cabin that day and seeing how simply he lived, I think that was what he needed to do to find himself."

She took a breath and smiled. "This sound horrible, but that day, Garcia and I stayed at the cabin to look for any leads. We had been there for most of the day; I was looking around his kitchen and found mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer. It was his favorite. I got two spoons and Garcia and I sat on the floor and ate it out of the container. Is it horrible that we ate a dead man's ice cream?" She fretted.

"Not at all, it was his favorite he would be glad it didn't go to waste." Sam remarked. JJ smiled.

**Spencer Reid**

"Hi, Spencer." Sam smiled as he walked into the room. "How are you doing? And I'm not asking that because of the grief assessment, I'm asking because I care about you."

"Thank you. I'm doing better. The first few days I kept picturing him on the floor of the cabin covered by a sheet. But, now I'm remembering other times. I still can't believe that I will never see him, again." He choked up. Sam handed him a tissue.

"He would encourage me to think outside the box. He said I needed to do that more. But, he always had faith that I could find the answers. Did you know, that he was the one that started introducing as Dr. Spencer Reid, thought that would make people take me more seriously?" He explained.

"Make sense, you look so young." She teased. He smiled at her.

"Gideon didn't buy birthday gifts, didn't believe in it. But, on my 24th birthday we were returning from a case, and he hands me an envelope. A birthday gift, he said. He had given me two tickets to a Redskins game, VIP box. I wasn't sure what sport they played until he told me. I assumed he was going with me. But, he said I should ask the only person in the world who called me Spence; which was JJ. She was apparently a big Redskin's fan. And he had noticed I had a crush on her and thought she would enjoy the game." Spencer laughed. "He was so observant of everyone around him."

"When he went missing, I drove to his cabin to check on him. I found an envelope with my name on it. He said that nothing made sense anymore. I felt abandon by him at the time, he left just like my father did. But, after reading the letter a few times, I realized he didn't leave me; he was looking for happiness and hope in his life again." He reflected. "But, now I understand what he meant about life not making sense, because right now it is not making sense to me."

"We would played chess on the flights, he was the best; it took me a long time to win a game. I'd just really like to play one more game of chess with him. I guess I will never get that chance." He said with tears filling his eyes. "Dave and I played on the flight back from Indianapolis. I guess, he and Gideon use to play back in the old days." Spencer smiled.

"We can still play chess, I know we haven't in about a month. But, we should start playing again." Sam told him. They had started playing when she was evaluating the team. During that time the two of them became good friends.

"You have Hotch and Jack in your life now. I know you're busy with them." Spencer said.

"But, not too busy for you. I always have time, you are my friend and I love you." Sam assured him. "So, check your schedule."

"It would be nice. I will call you. And I love you, too. Thanks, Sam." He said giving her a hug as he left the room.

Sam packed up her laptop, and walked into Aaron's office.

"Finished?" He asked. "I hope so you look exhausted."

"I'm finished. Grief assessments are difficult, dealing with loss is never easy." Sam muttered. "The team is fine, responding in all the normal ways. I will write up a report and send it to you."

"Send it to Cruz, copy to me. Thank you for doing it." He paused.

"Well, I'm going to go home. Maybe Jack and I will take Daisy to the park. What time do you think you will be home?" She inquired.

He glanced at the stack of files on his desk. "Around seven." He sighed.

"That's fine. I will keep your dinner warm. See you later. Love you." She smiled.

He walked over and gave her a kiss. "Love you, too."

Rossi walked in, "Excuse me, but I just wanted to reminded you both that after the memorial service on Saturday, everyone is invited to my house for dinner."

"We will be there. Thanks Dave." Aaron replied.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

* * *

Aaron and Sam pulled into the parking lot of the U.S. Marine Memorial Chapel at Quantico. They saw Dave; he walked over and joined them. He hugged Sam.

They walked into the Chapel and took their seats; both Dave and Aaron are giving eulogies today. Classical music is playing the background. The Minister offered a prayer and a brief sermon on dealing with the loss of a loved one.

First to speak was Director of the FBI, Richard Curtis. He had served as an agent with Gideon. He gave a very moving speech.

Dave was next; he talked about forming the Behavioral Science Unit; or as other agents called it, BS Unit. He talked about the early years, with him, Jason and Max Ryan. How they would track down criminals, he mentioned that Jason always wanted to travel by trains, "that was his favorite form of transportation." He told the crowd. Then he talked about his friend, the man that was like a brother to him. It was a very touching eulogy.

Samuel Goodman, Curator at The Smithsonian Institution, was the next speaker. Jason had stayed in touch with him over the last few years. They were good friends. He spoke of Jason's love of birds and of bird watching. And how he had enjoyed their time together and how he would miss his friend.

Aaron took his place behind the podium and talked about the man that was his mentor, on the job and in life. How he was an inspiration to many people around him, for many reasons. He spoke of the wisdom that Gideon had shared with him. And he ended with one of Jason's favorite quotes, "Euripides once said, _When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him._"

Stephen Gideon walked slowly to the podium. He thanked everyone for attending and for the support that he had received in the last two weeks.

The Memorial Service for Jason Gideon ended with a closing prayer.

They gathered at Dave's house, after the service. Sitting around the table were the team, plus Savannah, Will, Chris and Sam. Dave had invited Stephen, but he had plans.

Aaron and Dave poured the wine and they toasted Jason and talked about the wonderful memorial service. And of course, the eulogies that Dave and Aaron had given, they were all impressed.

The doorbell rang, "Dinner is here." Dave announced.

He walked back in carrying bags of Chinese takeout. "Thought this would be the most appropriate way to say goodbye to our friend. And of course, for dessert we have pie."

"Perfect." Aaron laughed.

They filled their plates and are seated at the dining room table. While enjoying the food they shared memories of Jason, happy and sad. Aaron reminded them of the Chaplin movie, and Jason's wicked sense of humor. Dave shared the Rattlesnake Hill sledding story, everyone was laughing at his account of that day. Which Aaron noted was different than Jason's recollection of the event.

As the pie was being served, Dave raised his glass. "A toast to Jason Gideon, a friend, a mentor, and a very loved man. Rest in peace our friend."

* * *

**_"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be _**

**_better than yourself."_**

**_-William Faulkner_**


End file.
